SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS THERES NO JOKE OR CLEVER COMPLAINT AT THE END OF THIS POST BECAUSE FUCK EVERYTHING. I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD SEE SOME STUPID FACE OR PAINFUL MEMORY FROM SHERLOCK HUH?? NOPE JUST THIS STUPIDLY LONG POST. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ITS THE ULTIMATE FUCK YOU HAHAHAHAHAHA I HAVENT SLEPT IN 3 DAYS.
Best post ever.
I thought there was going to be a shark…
You have the right to remain silent.
A videotape recording of this procedure shall be made.
I shall first state the date and time, clearly, and then the camera operator shall enter this information electronically onto the videotape.
The camera operator during your strip search shall be of the same sex you are, unless you request otherwise. This option may not be possible in some areas.
During this search, assuming compliancy, a privacy barrier (e.g. curtain, wall, sheet, screen, door, cardboard, beach towel, piece of wood, office cubicle divider, or any other similar barrier preventing visual inspection of the private parts) shall be placed between you and the camera operator.
If compliancy is not assured and/or there is the threat of your physical resistance, camera operators are instructed to videotape both you and the officer conducting the search simultaneously to protect against allegations of improper physical interactions, in which case all or partial nudity may be captured on videotape.
The purpose of this search will be stated before it is to begin. There is some evidence that needs to be obtained.
While conducting the search of your body, I shall, when possible, wear gloves. If it is not possible to wear gloves, I shall wash my hands thoroughly before returning to work.
Then I shall wash them again.
You will be asked to hand over any hazardous materials before the search begins. Failure to do so will result in hazardous situation for you and for me.
You will shake your hair vigorously. You will lean forward slightly against a stable countertop or the hood of an official vehicle. I will stand slightly to one side of your body.I will begin to search your hair and your head. Run my fingers through your hair. If you prefer to run your fingers through your own hair, that’s okay too, and I will watch this.
Next, I will inspect your nasal, ear and mouth cavities, including the crevice behind your ear. You will lift your hair up off your neck. If you have any false teeth, you will need to remove them now.
You will stand with your arms extended, fingers spread. I will unfold your collar, cuffs, sleeves, and other creases found in your clothing. I will squeeze your collar. I will run my hands over your shoulder and down the length of your arms, down to your hands, then back up and into your armpits. I will unbutton your shirt and pay special attention to your armpits, the small of your back, your chest.
You will be taken to a more private area, where you will be asked to remove your bra and lean forward. I will take hold of the center of your bra and shake them. I will instruct you to lift your breasts so that I may inspect underneath them.
I will descend to your waistband. I will run my hands over it and squeeze it. I will unbuckle you, unbutton you. I will run my hands along your waist and proceed then to the buttocks and legs. Your legs will be slightly apart.
I will unzip your pants or skirt. I will be using both hands at this juncture. I will be paying special attention to the seams. As I check each leg, I will check the crotch area.
My hand will run well up into the groin.
I will instruct you to squat down and cough. This will permit me a visual check of your darker areas.
Where possible, I will use tongs or forceps to assist me in difficult-to-reach areas.
Then I will switch to the other side of your body, conditions permitting, and repeat the procedure from step one, methodically and with great care, this time more familiar with the curvature of your body, the nature of its hiding places.
I will proceed as quickly as I’m comfortable, and with sensitivity to the subtle responses I provoke in you. What items I find during the search will be placed in my plastic evidence bag.
We shall begin the search now. The time is midnight
Hello lovelies! I hope your 2014 has been awesome! I vanished. I have been gone for about 3 months?
This is me
What is Semi-formal?
FIRST we thought…
THEN WE THOUGHT ahh well, Lets explain before we run away when they come. We’ll explain with pictures :)
DONT : Try any of the below or matter fact anything you havn’t previously attempted